Sometimes, I feel like I have been a fan of movies for so long that it wouldn’t surprise me to hear I was born with a ticket stub in my hand. And growing up, my parents made sure to introduce me to a few classics.
I remember being shown flicks like “Psycho” and “The Exorcist” before I was a teenager. I recall sitting with my dad on the couch checking out “Easy Rider” for the first time when I was a senior in high school.
I had a desire to check out these films and understand the context in which they were made. Sure, “The Exorcist” may not have scared the pants off of me, but it was cool to find out why it had that effect on my folks. At no point did they think “You don’t have to see ‘Psycho,’ son. They’ll surely remake it in 1998. That’s the one you should check out.”
But sure enough, that’s what they did.
The Hollywood philosophy is not to leave things be as they are. Its desire for dollars has caused studios to take the stance “If it ain’t broke, remake that darn thing and cash in.”
They’ve showed it time and time again in the past decade with extremely mixed results. No genre in film is exempt. We’re talking monster movies (1999’s “Godzilla” and 2005’s “King Kong”), horror films (2003’s “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and 2007’s “Halloween”), musicals (2007’s “Hairspray”), disaster movies (2006’s “Poseidon”) or almost anything else. Even this year produced a movie that was a substantial family hit with “Journey to the Center of the Earth,” a remake of the 1959 original spruced up with CGI and digital 3-D for the little kiddies.
With Hollywood refusing to access its creative side, it looks like every film has the potential to be remade. Want proof? Just this week alone, I learned that three more cult classics will be remade for the 21st century. Howard Stern has signed on as executive producer for upcoming remakes of the 1982 gross-out comedy “Porky’s” and 1979’s “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School.” But the most shocking and downright disappointing news came when it was learned that MTV is going to re-do the 1975 midnight screening staple and cult phenomenon “Rocky Horror Picture Show.”
I don’t know how these films will turn out, but I bet you will hear at least one comment frequently: “It wasn’t as good as the original.” So, if it isn’t as good as the original, why remake it? Instead of recycling these ideas to introduce them to a new generation, why not just re-release them? It worked when they did it with the “Star Wars” trilogy back in the late 1990s. People lined up in droves to see them on the big screen. “Rocky Horror Picture Show” continues to sell out midnight screenings to this day for a reason.
I think that re-releasing these films would be a much better way of introducing them to a new generation than remaking them with whatever actor or actress is hot this nano-second. But it doesn’t look like studios are steering away from the remake. Not in the slightest. I’ll just grin and bear it, but if they remake “The Godfather,” don’t be surprised if fans of the original make sure whoever was responsible ends up like Sonny Corleone in the toll booth.
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