It’s not the heat. It’s the stupidity.

I love that line. I think I first heard it from a mechanic I used to work with. He was explaining why people in Florida are so crazy. It works for Florida.

It works for St. Louis, too.

A guy got shot there last weekend over a hamburger. A Rally’s hamburger. Not Blueberry Hill, or even Steak ’n Shake or White Castle.

A 16-year-old boy gave the victim some money to go buy him two hamburgers from Rally’s. Instead, the victim came back with three hamburgers — two for the soon-to-be shooter and one for himself — according to the Associated Press.

The victim, Carl Sharp, wasn’t just some guy. At 26, he was a former high school basketball star who had been coaching kids to keep them out of trouble, according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. I’m sorry for his loved ones, and I’m not trying to make light of his unfortunate death.

The alleged shooter, however ... He’s fair game. My gut reaction is to be a smart-aleck and say, “Hmm, I hope he’s still hungry, because he’s going to eat off a metal tray for the rest of his life.” But then I start thinking, and it strikes me that the boy wasn’t actually that hungry.

Think about it. He had enough money for three hamburgers, but he only asked Mr. Sharp to buy him two. If he really wanted that third burger, he should’ve told Mr. Sharp to buy as many as he could for the money. What did he want with that third burger?

It’s not the heat.

This is definitely right up there with the St. Louis woman who shot her husband for giving her a warm beer.

Corine Jones told police she shot her husband, Robert, because he tried to give her a warm can of Stag beer. Not Schlafly, or even Michelob or Bud Select. A Stag beer — yeah, like making it cold would make all the difference.

It’s not the heat.

Poor Robert. I hope he got to crack his beer first.

You see, jokes aside, his wife suffered from stomach cancer and dementia. She never stood trial because her health was so bad, and she was released from jail to a skilled nursing facility shortly before her death this past January, according to the Post-Dispatch.

Except here’s the thing. She shot him in December of 2006 during an ice storm. The beer was only warm because the power had been out.

It’s not the heat. Honest.

The humidity, though. It’s pretty bad this time of year.

Joe Blumberg reports on St. Joseph city government for the News-Press. He is from St. Louis, although he couldn’t wait to leave the place, which he did at age 17 with a garbage sack of clothes slung over his shoulder. His dad wouldn’t even let him take a suitcase. Not that he’s bitter or anything. In fact, he really misses Cardinals baseball and Cunetto’s House of Pasta.