Young couple ties knot in St. Joe
Lower minimum marriage age brought Iowans across border
Lower minimum marriage age brought Iowans across border
Dressed in military fatigues, 19-year-old Zachary Monthei walked into the Buchanan County Courthouse last month to set things right.
The churches in his Iowa hometown refused to marry him to Krista Shillak because she is 15 — one year under the minimum marriage age in Iowa — and because they had their 1-month-old son out of wedlock.
So on June 20, Mr. Monthei crossed the state line with his son and future wife to become a family.
In Missouri, a person younger than 18 can marry as long as a custodial parent gives consent. For a person younger than 15, a county judge can approve the marriage, as long as the couple can show “good cause” and unusual conditions make the marriage “advisable.”
Criss Eighmy, a nondenominational Christian minister in St. Joseph, took the angry phone call in June from Ms. Shillak’s father in Iowa.
“Usually when a parent calls, I drop everything because you know there’s something going down,” he said.
However, the father told Mr. Eighmy he didn’t harbor resentment or wish to file a statutory rape charge against Mr. Monthei. He just wanted to make him his son-in-law.
“He said there was a moral issue here, and that’s why it’s important for us to do a Christian marriage,” Mr. Eighmy said.
If charges were made against Mr. Monthei, the marriage had the potential of turning into a similar case in 2005 when a pregnant 14-year-old from Nebraska drove to Kansas to marry her 22-year-old boyfriend. He was later charged with sexual assault and sentenced to a prison term in Nebraska.
Kansas lawmakers subsequently increased the minimum marriage age from 12 to 15 — as long as the person has parental or judicial consent.
Mr. Eighmy said his reason to perform the marriage ceremony at the Ramada Inn in St. Joseph hinged on Mr. Monthei’s pending military deployment overseas. If he was killed, he said, Ms. Shillak and the child would not be eligible for death benefits.
“This young man may not come home, and I want this child not to be what they call a bastard child,” he said. “And it saddens me that they had to cross state lines to find me, a nondenom, who would marry them.”
Last August, the Missouri Legislature repealed the three-day waiting period to accommodate the influx in recent years of service members wanting to marry before deployment.
The couple and their families declined to be interviewed for this story.
Ahmad Safi can be reached at ahmadsafi@npgco.com.
This story has 12 comments. Click here to join in on the discussion.
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This story makes me sad..i would think that nowadays people would stop thinking this way..you dont have to get married just because you are pregnant..i know what the bible says but with all the divorces going on why add fuel to the fire..and it seems to me that they were forced into marriage and i dont give it 1 year..
Posted by iceprincesslaura on July 5, 2008 at 11:16 a.m. (Suggest removal)Why does everyone have to assume that it isnt love? Just bacause she is 15. There are lots of young people who find the right person at that age. Who is to say they wont stay together, but all marriages have that going for them, there is no guarentee in life. So I am happy for them that they chose to get married and the little kid can have his family together and hope that his father stays safe while away fighting for our country and our rights to be free. Dont ya think him and his now wife have rights too it is a free country.
Posted by StJoeMoe on July 5, 2008 at 2:07 p.m. (Suggest removal)I have a huge problem with the amount of unwed mothers, the problem is at the core of what is destroying America IMO.
A loss of values.....
And divorce should not be easy, nor should it be tolerated.
Take a real man to step up to the plate and accept responsibility.
And it takes a real women to make a home.
We (St. Joe) may have the largest population of proud white trash in the central United States, and that is not something I am proud of.....
I applaud this couple, may the Lord shine on them.
Posted by 4wildones on July 5, 2008 at 6:22 p.m. (Suggest removal)bearie04-obviuosly you didn't pay attention to the article. They are getting married now because he is deploying and he wants his child and the childs mother to have all his benefits if something happens to him and he does not come home. What I don't understand is why parents let their little girls date older guys. I mean a 14 year old should not date an 18 year old and why would an 18 year old want to date a 14 year old?
Posted by rush620 on July 5, 2008 at 11:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)StJoeMo - Are you referring to the unwed mothers and their children as white trash? If that is your contention, I find it interesting that in the same breath or in your case the next paragraph you are calling on the Lord to shine on them. Not trying to be a history buff or anything, but wasnt the Lord born to an unwed mother? Does that make him white trash or does it make you a hipocrit?
Posted by 33yearsandcounting on July 6, 2008 at 10:03 a.m. (Suggest removal)I was married 33 years ago at the age of 15.I lived in Nebraska at the time and at that time you had to be 16 in Kansas to be married there. We were lucky enough to find a preacher in Missouri who would take a chance on marrying us. It was the first marriage he ever performed. Well my husband and I have been married 33 years this year. It hasn't always been easy, but nothing worth while ever is.Give this young couple a chance.
Posted by azmaggie on July 6, 2008 at 10:37 a.m. (Suggest removal)Zachary. Good luck to you as you are deployed. May God watch over you and all the men and women fighting for our freedoms. You have more courage and Honor than some people will EVER know.Thank You For serving your country.
Amen
Posted by Joe_Wright on July 6, 2008 at 4:38 p.m. (Suggest removal)StJoeMoe...It can get a little Whiskey Tango arount here atg times!
Posted by bearie04 on July 7, 2008 at 4:46 a.m. (Suggest removal)this article said nothing about the boy wanting to get married to give them benefits..they got married because the grandpa didnt want a bastard child and the pastor thought it would be a good idea to do it for the benefits..and im glad that they dont live here so that i dont have to pay for one more mother/child to live on welfare and medicad...
Posted by azmaggie on July 7, 2008 at 10:10 a.m. (Suggest removal)Get a grip!! They are married so she will get an allowance form the military!! I bet she is glad she does not live there either!!!
Posted by wickedtruth on July 7, 2008 at 1:24 p.m. (Suggest removal)Actually bearie04, this article DOES say that the marriage is to ensure that his wife and child have military benefits in the event of his death. Read paragraph 11.
As for her age...I'm married to my high school sweetheart. We started dating when I was 15 and he was 17. Granted, we waited 6 years to get married. The age that you fall in love with someone doesn't dictate the length of your union. 20 years later, we're still happy and married, and we didn't get married out of necessity.
The "bastard child" comment was made by the nondenominational pastor. Pay attention, people!
I guess my point is - if you're not capable of walking a mile in another's shoes, then maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge.
Posted by jengersnaps2188 on July 10, 2008 at 9:48 p.m. (Suggest removal)for all of you who are making mean comments, i just want to say one, you dont know this couples situation. i happen to know this couple and i happen to know that they have been together since zach was 17. i dont care how young she is, she knows love.
they are extremely happy together and im so proud of them. before this child zach was immature and this whole experience has changed him for the better. they are doing so well and i couldn't be happier for them.
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