Even for the most even-keeled, non-reactive person, at some time or another it’s likely that the green-eyed monster has reared its ugly head. If you’ve had a relationship, chances are you’ve been jealous.

There’s more than one type of jealousy. If you’re jealous of your current boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s a sign of insecurity in the relationship, that maybe you don’t trust them enough. If you’re jealous of an ex, it’s a sign that you’re not over the relationship you had with him or her and are having a hard time with the fact that he or she is moving on. Or maybe you’re over them, but you feel the friendship you have with them now is threatened by someone else.

Jealousy hasseveral faces, but there is one common factor: It sucks to be jealous of someone. You might begin to question your own qualities: Are you not good-looking enough? Are you not interesting or fun enough? Do they like someone else more than they like you? Jealousy can eat away at your confidence, leaving you insecure and emotionally needy.

Jealousy also can make you more than a little obsessed about where your boyfriend/girlfriend/ex is and what they’re doing at all times. You can’t have fun just doing your own thing, or you’re always concerned about more fun than they are. That’s never a good time.

So how can you get a grip on jealousy do it doesn’t turn you into a crazy person sitting in the bushes outside your boyfriend/girlfriend/ex’s house trying to catch of glimpse of them through the window? One way is to simply choose not to let it affect you, which is the approach Lindsay Jacobs takes.

“I try to not become jealous because it just complicates things,” she says. “It will eventually go away if you just ignore it.”

Now, this is a completely rational way to approach jealousy. The problem I’ve had in the past with jealousy, though, is that it’s not usually a rational feeling. It’s also very hard to ignore your jealousy when your ex walks into the bar or restaurant you’re at with someone who’s taller, skinnier and better looking than you.

That’s something that’s always been hard for me to ignore. Then again, if you ignore it enough to get motivated to talk to someone who’s taller, skinnier and better looking than your ex, maybe it works after all.